Partners with avoidant attachment aren’t that different from those with anxious attachment. 💔 Now before you go comment: “Yes they are! They’re evil! They feel nothing!” We need to look a little deeper. 🧐 On the surface, everything seems different. You want closeness, they pull away. You want to talk through things, they want space. You want the relationship to work, and it seems like all they want to do is run away. But… Beneath both coping mechanisms is the fear of getting hurt. 🫣 People with avoidant attachment learned early on that when they open up too much, or trust others, or fully commit to someone emotionally… They get burned, taken advantage of, or used. So when things escalate in the relationship… Like when you become official, or when they meet your parents, or when you move in together… They feel uneasy in their body the same way you do when they won’t talk to you. And then just like you feel the compulsion to text them or chase them… They feel the compulsion to run away. 🏃‍♀️ Now, understanding this doesn’t excuse it. Regardless of their reason for it, running from a relationship isn’t a functional behavior. But hopefully this explanation helps you take the blame off of yourself. If your partner has an avoidant attachment style, their running doesn’t mean you are broken. It doesn’t mean you are too much. People have their own problems and you didn’t cause them all. If you need one on one help saving your relationship or moving on, I work with 5 people a month and I’d love to work with you! The link is in my bio:)